When I was twelve, books were my life. I read everyday, every hour, could finish a book in two days if I tried hard enough. But, as I got older I lost track of books. I would read from time to time but my interest fell completely off. Books use to be my escape goat. A new world, when I was tired of my own. I traveled to worlds of love stories and adventures. Wanted to see what life of a person who was actually wanted felt like. I thought stories would solve my problems, thought if I read enough I could lost in a book and never return. However, that was not the case for me, my world continued on the same. I thought if reading wasn't helping me escape or forget, than why read? So I quit, even in school I didn't care to read every book that came across my desk. Damned near flunked all my English classes, and failed or barely passed every paper that came my way. I was falling apart, and as I got older it just got worse. I lost my since of purpose. My focus was not there anymore. I didn't care for school or life in some instance. I saw myself really going nowhere. Not accomplishing not becoming something amazing. Books didn't help me anymore, poetry was there, but it full filled me only for a small part of my life. I lost my self, desperately falling and not finding a rope or wings or anything to help stop me. I was scared yes, but also just going through the motions of life.
Settled is what I needed and what I got in 2013. I had my first child, and also met the love of my life. My purpose was coming back, my since of self was returning. I was falling for myself more and becoming aware of my life and where it needed to go. I'm not going to say I picked up reading right away, because I didn't. But my poetry came back to me, my gift to put words on paper was returning to me. Inspiration was around and I wanted more. More knowledge more understanding of life, love, adventure, since of purpose. I was returning to my younger self and that excited me, because I mean come on, your best life was when you were young and free and secure and knew life was wonderful. I had that kid feeling again, and it felt great. I was there, I was happy. Granted everyday was not the best, but I was getting there.
Now, to BOOKS, I picked up Assata Shakur biography, and it changed my life. I was intrigued by her story. Lost in her world of her fight for freedom. She displayed to me that life is yours, protect it. Guard it, show that you fear no man. Women have been in hiding for to long. We take blames and allow them to consume us and take control of our lives. Our mouths work and we must speak up and say our freedom is just as important. Our bodies are weapons we are shielded with armor. Assata, was the fiercest warrior I have ever read about. She loved, she lost, she succeeded. Her words, opened my passion for reading again. Her mind, and vision for her life was in her book. In captured me and made me realized with my life and my family we can do more. Become more than what society thinks. We cannot be locked in a jail cell no more. We must escape, and began our lives in freedom. Establish more for our family. Her book opened my eyes, and allowed me to explore more books, more stories, more inspiration for my life, and poetry. Books, also brought me back to escaping. As a mom my world gets hectic, busy, loud, crazy, annoying, ugly, and irritating. I love being a mom, but when I need a break, need peace. I surround myself in blankets climb into my nook, and read. Focus on another world, find a new love story to say "Aww" too. A new adventure to explore in Nigeria or Asia, travel the world and feel free to be lost there for a while. I get love from both worlds. I feel happy in them as well. All this exploring and feeling of peace and happiness is the best. Read to bring you joy, and love on your family to give you peace.