A Beautiful Struggle

My skin is not thick as blood,

Words have bruised me. I defined myself by those perplex eyes,

Denying the struggles of my own.

I lost the mark of loving one self years ago. Fought and crawled to find it.

Dirt under my nails.

Clothes out of date.

I looked to fit my invisible demeanor.

I struggled with my body,

Cried about my face.

Again, I lost the mark of loving one self

years ago.

To accept was not real.

The mirror was a lie,

I vowed only,

To fit my invisible status.

I closed my eyes,

Count to ten sometimes,

And imagined I was not real.

Not here, seen or heard.

I vowed to fit my invisible status.

I cried once more,

But this time for pain.

Where was I going?

The invisible status,

Was turning red.

My anger,

Was starting to define me now.

I lost the small voice,

Produced a demon.

I lost the fear,

Accepted anger.

The worlds,

Scary and alone.

Where do I go from here?